Log in

17 June 2012 @ 12:28 am
Hello :)  
I haven't posted here before and honestly, I don't have lupus. My mother does have it though. I was just wondering whether anyone here had any children with problems because of it? I was born with complete heart block (which I've had a pacemaker for since I was 4) and my mother has told me that it was caused by her lupus. Of course, being born with a weak heart has caused many other problems as I grow older but I can cope quite well for a moody teenager.

Since she got diagnosed as she was having me I've always thought that it was my fault that she was ill, like it was because of my problems that caused her to be sick? I've grew up thinking about this and it was only a couple of years ago when I asked her. She said that it was nothing to do with me but I don't know if I believe her. She's not one to talk about her condition and I know practically nothing about it. The only things I've heard are usually the worst cases (as you usually do). But I just wanted to know if there was anyway that it was my fault for her being ill? I've just spent most of my life feeling guilty about it, and even when she said it wasn't my fault I still felt guilty. There's still the countless hospital appointments caused by me which she always supports me even though she has her own problems.
Ella Cowin: Mr. Pants Saysthunderflyer on June 17th, 2012 02:35 am (UTC)
I am going to try to explain this to you the way it was explained to me by Dr. Sailles, my family rheumatologist until he retired.

Lupus is a disease of the auto immune system. It causes your own immune system to mistakenly attack your own healthy cells. It is believed that the disease is genetic, but it may be triggered by environmental factors. Some people with Lupus can have the disease for years and not know it (like my Granny), while others get very ill very young (like my baby sister.)

You are not to blame, even a tiny bit, for your mother's illness. Even if she hadn't had you, she would have eventually gotten ill. The good news is that many people with Lupus live long, productive lives (my great Gramma was 100 when she died, but not from Lupus itself. She died of a ruptured stomach ulcer caused by the medication she was on in 1992.)

Please don't blame yourself, or feel guilty about the illnesses of you and your mother. If you could have had a choice, you would have chosen differently.
takemypetals: Dolltakemypetals on June 17th, 2012 08:54 am (UTC)
I'm glad you told me that, because whenever I've heard about lupus it's usually someone dying really young which has worried me most of my life. I don't want my mother to die and leave me before she's old. Thank you, and yes I would have chosen a lot differently xo